leaving behind
the ambition of
perfection
rooted in the fear
of never being
good enough
can feel so frightening
one would rather
disappear
what
it might not be
what
we experience
which changes
though
how we experience it
for life to flow freely
not necessarily
in the way
we had imagined
though
rather
in the way
freedom is possible under
the given circumstances
total
a wave of exhaustion
so overwhelming
that total surrender was
the only possible answer
hours upon hours
of sleep
recovering only gently
through the fragile layers
of the spirit
slowly reaching the mind
waiting for the body
to follow
stones
running into
a wall
while the hope
every stone
had been turned
had flourished
for a while
is not the end
of the world
though
for a moment
i can feel
like it
subjugating
being able to share
the glory of
what we are given
rather than
spending all our strength
trying to subjugate it
is such a relief
that it can feel like
losing balance
sound
open windows
letting in
smells of summer
subjugated sadness
secluded solitude
and sound surrender
but
when saying no
is no longer about
saying no
but
about saying yes
to something else
another door to freedom
through righteousness
is pushed
open
inauguration
when trying to impress
is being
interchanged with
being who we are
reality emerges
and freedom is
inaugurated
gross
what a stunning experience
to observe
the dissolution of
an illusion
reaching
the gross layers
of the body
disappointing
reaching the end
of an illusion
one has spent
every breath
trying to prove
true
can feel all the more
disappointing
that it is
emancipating