Author: nanna

beginning to trust

after a life in

suspicion

is not only an unfathomable experience

it is also indescribable

yet very real

fidelity might not only be

not to follow our impulses

when drawn to greener pastures

fidelity might also be

the decision to return to the pain

as many times as necessary

for healing to occur

a radical modification

in the unconscious habits

of the body

can be considered

a clear expression of change

while everything seems the same

on the surface

as a secret revelation

to the contemplating mind

a subtle light

in the dark

mist is hanging low

inside as well

as outside

as to remind

that rest is

required

an owl is calling through the dark

through the heaviness

weighing in the bones

for no apparent reason

somewhere

somehow

life goes on

feeling old habits

running under the surface

only waiting for the occasion

to snap the reins

and drive the mind

into well-known pastures

of suffering and pain

indifferent to the soft golden fields

of the heart

finally opening in abundance

towards the world

a whirlwind between new and old

winding up the mind

a whirlwind between doubt and faith

winding up the heart

while everything is quiet

on the surface

as clouds are gathering

preparing for some rain

it can be a challenge

to stand upright

in a choice

condemned

as being

irresponsible

but it does not mean

the choice was wrong

to begin with

nor that the star being followed

is leading astray

a day without rain

can feel

like a caress

of light

while darkness is

at its darkest

and all there is to be done about it

is to wait

for light

and life

to return

after a whole long life

of believing

that asking for help

was the ultimate failure

asking for help seems indeed

to be

an unfathomable relief