a solitary owl
singing
lullabies for insomniacs
deciphering desire
with a daunting determination
to enter the transfiguration
of guilt
crushing
when the will to do well
is crushing under its feet
the need
to be good
what was given in
a loving embrace
is received as
a living hell
distant
awakening into
turmoil of emotions
distilled into consciousness
by dreams in the state
in between
sleep
and awareness
as a greeting from a distant relative
who reminds us
what we have been trying to forget
ever since
we remember
impediments
stepping out of guilt
into imperfection
acknowledging the urge
to live
for what it is
an urge to live
not some human thinking
no longer holding it down
in shame
but clearing the passages
from impediments
to let it run freely
when it finds the way
to nourish everything it passes
all along
a sudden impatience
to live
after years
in dead waters
in the fullness of time to answer
the call
which has so patiently been whispering
from inside all along
independently of the expectations
otherwise ruling consciousness
separating what was always solely meant
to be whole
incapacity
being unable to
repent
is depriving oneself
for mercy
and no matter how many explanations
not to mention excuses
are to be found
for this incapacity
none exempt any for the responsibility
of learning
to place our flaws before
the compassion of
forgiveness
raising
understanding is but
the beginning of
transformation
yet so powerful
it easily gives in to impatience
considering understanding the end
hence
adding to the heaviness of matter
rather than raising it up above
what is bound to
the realm of life and death
bringing
bringing back flow
where stagnation had reigned
is as powerful
as the humility required
to do so
is humble
beloved
entering the embrace
of the beloved
can be so overwhelming
that we prefer
to run away
entering the embrace
of the beloved
can be so natural
that we take it for granted
though
entering the embrace
of the beloved
unconditionally
is where wholeness
begins
wholeness
no words are coming
to describe
the subtle sensation of wholeness
so delicately deepening
inside